Oral Suction

I just did an inordinate amount of driving. I am an idiot and blasted through my life savings in twelve minutes when I bought a stupid car. Ultimate Bummer. Following the logic that I generally use which makes me the horrible, miserable person that I am, I figured I might as well spend the paycheck I haven,t even got yet on gas driving to the middle of nowhere and turning around and driving home. So that,s what I did.

I left way too late at night after working for eight hours and having the most suicide-inducing ,,band practice,, of my life. The trip was off to a great start. I drove until I was casually weaving on and off of the paved surface and slept in a dirt parking lot next to some toilets that were covered in blood and flies. Luv U Nevada! I spent the next day eating warm bagels and listening to the same four records over and over. I did get to enjoy the sublime luxury of yet another freetel though. That was nice.

That evening I walked around in a parking lot and looked at the terrifying hills and ubiquitous TacoTime Home-Style Mexican Food Restaurants. I enjoyed a lovely dinner of fried pickles and sloppy waitresses. One of the fifteen year old kids eating at the restaurant kept getting called fat and it gave him a very loud, obnoxious complex about his neck and face. He wasn,t fat but he was ugly.

Aphex Twin - Melodies From Mars
I had a very tight schedule to keep which meant I had to drive for at least fourteen hours each day. So the next morning I had to get up early, eat a free waffle at the freetel and drive a lot. I didn,t want to see the same stupid road so I went way out of my way so I could look at a different stupid road with weird, lonely rocks on the sides. Everything looked like it wanted to kill me or that it was fake or a mix of both. I felt right at home.

I drove forever and got a nice sunburn. Luv U Nevada! I bought some fireworks called New Small Bees which are exactly as great as you think they are (very), hated how white Utah is, and kept myself from falling asleep at the wheel by counting all of the wind turbines that I passed near my future home all while listening to the same four records.