Be Better

Huell Howser died the other day. That,s a bummer. I usually don,t care when a famous person dies because I never knew them and they didn,t have any kind of impact on my life, but Huell was such a crazy weirdo that it just kind of sucks that he won,t be around anymore to say wacky stuff to strangers on television. I liked California,s Gold. That was a cool, ridiculous show.

Him dying doesn,t make me sad. It,s just annoying that people die without my permission. I wasn,t sad when Michael Jackson or MCA died, but I like a lot of the music that they made. I didn,t care when Aaliyah died because I hadn,t ever listened to any of her stuff then. I like some of it now. Left Eye is dead. That makes sense, though. If any of the three of  TLC had to die, it would definitely be her. She was the good one and now she,s the dead one.

The Men - Leave Home My Death Cabe For Cutie cover band played a show last night in a freezing cold room. I spent much of the night in a warm apartment that belongs to a guy I went to high school with. It sounds annoying, but it wasn,t. We just yelled about boring stuff and tried to out nerd each other. We both lost that contest because we are both losers. I feel bad that he saw us play.

I have been eating nothing but beans, tofu, and eggs for the past three days and the odors coming out of my body clearly reflect that. A lot of horrible things exist in this world because of me, but I think my gaseous waste is among the most severely awful. Most of the time I embrace my ability to create such foul abominations, but when I am alone and there is nobody to gross out, it,s just sad and painful and suspiciously long-lingering. I need to see a doctor.