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I get to work at seven AM each morning. That,s not really true. I almost always get to work before seven. I like to clock in five minutes before I should, but clock out at exactly three so I steal five minutes worth of pay each day. That means that I get paid for about an extra hour every two weeks.

I am the only person in the building for at least an hour every morning. I work alone for about ninety minutes. Sometimes I can hear people walking around in hallways and offices that aren,t mine after a while. When I,m working by myself, I get a lot done. The first hour is always my most productive. Often, it is my only productive hour of the day.

Kartell - Tender Games I generally feel the need to move my bowels in the morning, but I almost never do. I wait until I get home to rip a gnarly turd. I usually get the urge after eight AM and that,s when people are about. The building is quiet and the act of painting the bowl brown can sometimes be cacophonous. I like to keep my rectal symphonies to myself. I like to keep the music of my soul private. What I mean is that I generally don,t poop at work because I don,t want people to hear it splattering as if I were blasting a fire extinguisher into the toilet. That would embarrass me.