I have eaten nothing but beans for the past two weeks. I was hoping that my body would have been able to adjust by now, but it certainly has not. I spend all day at work holding in farts and after I get home, I spend the rest of the day slinging gnarly turds into the bowl like my colon was one of those water balloon launchers. It,s extremely violent and there is a lot of splash back.
I don,t know why I thought that my body would be able to handle a change like this. I have spent my entire adult life eating nothing but bread and potatoes and out of nowhere I threw a ton of beans into the mix. What was I expecting to happen? My innards are in the middle of a riot and I am the dictator that they are trying to overthrow. I don,t blame them at all.
Rich Gang - Tha Tour Part 1
I,m stupid and don,t learn so I tried to make another severe change involving my body yesterday. I have used the same deodorant for fifty years because pretty people regularly tell me that I smell good. I think some of it comes from being so pretty that other people,s brains aren,t able to process it all visually so their brain moves some of that information to the sniff center of their think machine so it seems like I smell better than I actually do because I,m so good looking. Still, I have been weary of changing anything about the way I smell.
Like the dope that I am, I bought a cube made out of salt and started rubbing it on my armpits. So far, the results aren,t great. I haven,t broken out in any terrifying rashes just yet, but I don,t think I smell as good as I did a few days ago. My body is so mad at me. I am being so mean to it. I would,t be surprised if it killed me soon.
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