First Days

I,m on hold right now. I had to call my dumb internet company because my bill doubled this month and I am too poor and stubborn to pay it. Hopefully, I can be a greasy baby and they,ll lower my bill to what it once was. This is actually the third time I,ve been on hold. I called last week and they said that there weren,t any cool deals that would make my bill super cheap so I should call back this week and try again. That,s what I,m doing right now.

I called a few minutes ago and went through the robot menu and then it hung up so I called back. I think it just hung up again a second ago. I don,t know. I can,t tell. I,m still on the line, but it,s silent. Maybe they,re waiting for me to make the first move. I just yelled, ,,Hey dummy,,, but I didn,t get a response which means that I basically just called myself a dummy and now the internet is laughing all the way to the bank.

I,m going to hang up and try once more. It,s very annoying, but at least it,s giving me something to write about. I wouldn,t have known what to do without all of this calling and holding and talking to robots. I wonder if the guy who recorded all of this automated menu stuff got paid a lot. I wonder if he,s dead. I wonder if he ever had to call about his bill being too high and had to listen to his own voice and talk to himself.

Let,s see if it hangs up again. It made the hang up noise, but this time the recording is still rambling incoherently. I think that,s a good sign. I guess we,ll see. It said that it was super busy right now so I may have to wait a while. Maybe I,ll just keep writing about what,s happening. That,s going to be rough if anybody every picks up on their end, though. I have a tough time talking and typing simultaneously. Also, I,m listening to music and I,m on speakerphone. This is going to be their worst call of the day.

Toro Y Moi - Samantha I should know better since I basically have the same job. I answer idiots, phone calls and tell them how to do things so simple that it is an incredible embarrassment to us both. I don,t know better, though. I am who I hate the most in this world.

Even though I,m just sitting here and waiting for some goon to make my internet bill lower, I feel like I,m doing a lot. I,m doing a lot of things that are very passive all at the same time. My clothes are being washed by a machine, I,m proofing some dough so I can eat a loaf of bread for dinner, I,m writing, I,m getting my internet bill taken care of, I,m listening to music, and I,m about to take a sip of water. Ahh, that was refreshing. I hope to the good Lord that nobody bothers reading this. This is likely the worst thing I have ever written.

I,m still on hold. The worst part is that I,m listening to music and there is hold music so both songs are ruined. I wish I could make a living making hold music. That reminds me, I wanted to make myself a new ringtone today. Maybe I can do that while I,m on hold and writing. Let,s find out.

I was making a little ditty to use as a ringtone after being on hold for twenty minutes and a goon picked up and yelled at me for a minute and then went to transfer the call and it hung up. They win this round.