Frolicksome

I work the morning shift every Saturday and Sunday. I have to be at work by 7AM to make sure all of the derelicts and addicts clear out for the new batch. I also have to make sure that all of the guests here know that we do not provide breakfast or coffee and that they should go anywhere else if they want those things. The rest of the time I sit here and write these sordid ramblings.

Today I woke up to my boss calling me. It was the old it,s-eight-in-the-morning-you-were-supposed-to-be-at-work-a-long-time-ago gag. I love those. I don,t really. I got really confused and I ran to work in a gross shirt and didn,t brush my teeth. Now my breath smells/tastes like flies and it still feels like the Sandman left his sperm in my eyes. When I got to work I was still so out of it I started doing all of the closing stuff. I put up the CLOSED sign and turned off lights. My boss just looked at me like the goon that I am and told me to calm down before I do anything else. So I brushed my teeth without toothpaste which did nothing.

The Goslings - Between The Dead
When I was in Community College I did this same thing twice. Both times it was the first day of the semester. I think the first time I did it may have actually been my first day of school. It was horrible. I was so sweaty and lost and didn,t know what to do. I was completely unfamiliar with the lack of care or effort involved in those schools so I figured that if I was late the first day I would get dropped from all of my classes or expelled or they would call my dad and tell him I was playing hookie. The latter being the worst of the three options.

There was never any place to park for the first three weeks of school before everybody would drop their classes so I had to drive around forever before I parked two miles and got to class for the last six minutes. It was great. I would just apologize really loudly with my cracking voice and sit down in the only seat available which was always the one furthest from the door in the front row. Everybody hated me for ruining PE that semester.

This is my new favorite website.